Am I A Mail Order Bride?


I thought, today’s conversation with my new neighbor became a good reason to write this article. I suppose, if my neighbor, let’s name her Judy, thinks like this about international marriages, it would be interesting for you too, if we’ll clarify more this subject. Especially, because of your intentions are to meet a wonderful Russian or Ukrainian future wife on our site.

So, Judy came to visit me today. It was a part of the “welcome ritual” because we just moved recently to this beautiful neighborhood. She seemed very warm and curious, she asked me many questions, including some very typical ones, based on my accent, like “Where are you from?” and “How did you come to America?” When I said that my husband “stole” me from Russia seven years ago because we met, fall in love and decided to be married, Judy smiled very understanding, like we are in plot together and said: “Oh, Antonia, so you are the Mail Order Bride!”

Of course, I know this combination of words too well, because probably about 20 % people, both men and women who met me here in USA asked me the same exact question, but I decided to play little bit around: “Mail Order Bride??? Are you kidding me, Judy? There is no such thing as a “Mail Order Brides!”

“Hmmm…It is just like people name foreign ladies, who came to our country to marry American men”,  – Judy tried to explain me.

“I see, Judy, but this is a big mistake…” And I told her that American men can not “order” the lady of his dream from any kind of “mysterious catalogue”, dictate his credit card number and after, sit on the sofa and wait for a package. It is not Shop At Home stuff. A lot, actually, plenty of work and patience, hours and hours of conversations stand behind every successful International Russian-American marriage. In fact, when I’ve been interviewed in CIS office for my first Green Card, I noticed two almost 5-inch blinders at the officer’s table. When my husband asked him what is inside, the officer showed us all the paper and it was our printed e-mails to each other, photos where we are together, which all prove “a long history of our relationships”…Even Alan’s plane tickets and our tickets to the Kiev’s Opera were there along with his printed telephone bills for about $3,000! It is pity we did not have Skype back then!:)

And I don’t even tell here about the endless nine months of waiting my K1 Visa!

So, sounds like a little more complicated then a mail order, isn’t it?:)

Well, right now when people say to me that I am the Mail Order Bride I am just smiling and tell them that Russian mail service probably did not have big box enough to send me and my son to America, so we have been waiting for nine month to be finally together as a happy family.

Yes, long nine month, it is almost like a giving birth a baby! Uneasy and long expected…But believe us if you are both working on your relationships seriously it will be completely worth your time and effort. Because then you will be able to be TOGETHER FOREVER!

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